The Tree That Refused to Give Up

There are moments in childhood that don't seem important at the time.

For me, one of those moments happened in third grade.

I came home from school carrying a tiny evergreen seedling. I don't remember if it was for Earth Day or another environmental project, and honestly, I don't even remember anyone telling me what kind of tree it was. I just remember asking my mom one simple question:

"Can we plant it in our backyard?"

She smiled and said yes.

She carefully chose a spot away from the house because we had no idea what this tiny tree might become one day.

Neither of us knew that this little seedling would quietly become part of my story.

Growing Through Adversity

That little tree didn't have an easy beginning.

More than once, my mom accidentally mowed over it.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Every time, it came back.

It grew just a little taller until eventually it became impossible to miss.

Today, it towers over the backyard. Birds nest in its branches. Rabbits seek shelter beneath it, and I'm sure countless other creatures have found a home there too. It has become an ecosystem all on its own.

For most of my life, I called it "my pine tree."

It wasn't until recently, after downloading the iNaturalist app, that I learned it was actually a Norway Spruce.

Even after all these years...

It was still teaching me something new.

Looking Back

During my training through the Center for Nature-Informed Therapy, we were invited to reflect on an early experience that shaped our relationship with nature.

Without hesitation...

I thought about this tree.

Not because of its species.

But because of what it represented.

Resilience.

Life Has a Way of Knocking Us Down

As I reflected on that little tree, I realized how much of my own life mirrored its journey.

School didn't come easily for me.

I struggled with test anxiety.

I had to study harder than many of my classmates, and standardized testing was one of my biggest challenges.

When it came time to apply to college, my SAT scores weren't where I wanted them to be. Some schools said no.

For a long time, I thought I was proving something to the colleges that had rejected me.

Looking back, I wasn't.

I was proving something to myself.

I attended Middlesex County College, where I earned my Associate Degree in Sociology. From there, I transferred to Kean University to earn my Bachelor of Social Work before completing my Master of Social Work at Rutgers University.

Graduating from Rutgers through the Advanced Standing Program remains one of my proudest accomplishments because I knew how much work it took to get there.

The path wasn't straight.

But it was mine.

Beginning Again

Graduation wasn't the finish line.

It was another beginning.

Over the past two decades, I've worked with individuals across the lifespan in a variety of settings, each one teaching me something different about people, resilience, and hope.

Licensure brought another challenge.

It took me seven attempts to pass my licensing exams and eventually earn my LSW and later my LCSW.

Each unsuccessful attempt was frustrating.

Each one also reminded me that persistence isn't about getting it right the first time.

It's about deciding you're going to keep showing up.

There were moments when I questioned whether I should continue.

Thankfully, I didn't make that decision alone.

My family, friends, colleagues, mentors, supervisors, and fellow social workers encouraged me to keep going when I couldn't always see the finish line myself.

Their belief in me helped me continue believing in myself.

Finding My Roots

Looking back, I realize another theme has quietly followed me throughout my life.

Nature.

Whether it was hiking through the Catskills, walking the Batona Trail in the New Jersey Pine Barrens, sitting beside a quiet lake, or simply breathing in the familiar scent of evergreen trees, nature always helped me feel grounded.

Long before I became a therapist, it was already helping me heal.

Today, I feel most at home on a trail.

The hiking community has shown me what it feels like to be fully accepted, encouraged, and supported simply for being myself. Later, through my training in Nature-Informed Therapy, I found another community that shared those same values. Both reminded me that sometimes we spend years searching for where we belong, only to discover it was waiting for us in nature all along.

Someone once gave me the nickname "the social nerd."

At first, I laughed.

But it fit.

I worked hard in school, knew when it was time to study, and also knew how to enjoy life and have fun. Looking back, that balance has stayed with me throughout my career.

Curiosity has always been one of my greatest strengths.

It still is.

The Lesson My Tree Taught Me

That little Norway Spruce never tried to become anything other than what it was meant to be.

It simply kept growing.

Year after year.

Season after season.

No matter what stood in its way.

Life knocked that little Norway Spruce down more than once.

It didn't stop growing.

Neither did I.

Sometimes growth isn't loud.

Sometimes resilience looks like quietly beginning again.

Maybe that's why I still find myself drawn to evergreen forests.

Maybe that's why standing beneath that tree still feels like coming home.

It planted more than roots in my backyard.

It planted roots in me.

A Final Reflection

If there's one thing I hope you take away from my story, it's this:

Your setbacks do not define your future.

The path may not look the way you imagined.

It may take longer than you hoped.

You may even feel knocked down more than once.

But growth isn't measured by how quickly you get there.

It's measured by your willingness to keep growing.

Life knocked that little Norway Spruce down more than once.

It didn't stop growing.

Neither did I.